Things That Game Developers did/do Wrong Part 1

Don't you hate it when a good developer takes a good license, or a really cool concept, then rapes it? Then they take the dead raped body, light it on fire, film it, and add that as an easter egg when they release the now shit game? If you said yes, you're a lot like me. God help you. Anyways, this is what I think the big wigs of gaming are fucking up.

(List order is what came to mind first, it isn't rating)

1. Goldeneye 007 Remake

When I heard about this, I had three thoughts run through my head:
A) FUCKING FINALLY! ABOUT TIME!
B) Wait, Nintendo is making it? How are they going to fuck it up?
C) Will they have all the beautiful, beautiful cheat codes from the old days?

BTW, the answer to thought B is yes Nintendo is in charge of this, and they are currently fucking it up with Daniel "The Terrible Blond Bond" Craig taking the place of Pierce "2nd Best Bond After Connery" Brosnan.

According to Craig Harris of IGN, "GoldenEye still retains the basics of GoldenEye's story, but retells it in a way that makes sense with Daniel Craig's interpretation of James Bond"

-Taken from Wikipedia

Also Oddjob gets his cheater hat from the PS2 bond games in multiplayer, and is still ridiculously tiny. And last but not least is the multiplayer itself. Its going to be exactly the same. That's not a bad thing at all, you get to play with all your favorite match types, But I'd like to see the original Match types as presets, with more freedom as to how matches can be set up. There's little info on this so hopefully they give us some freedom.

Also, You use a cell phone to take pictures instead of the trusty Q Watch. I'll miss you old friend.

However, all is not lost. If the game had been developed on 360 or PS3 then odds are we would see System Link or Online multiplayer ONLY, as Sony and Microsoft are assholes about that. We get classic 4 players on one system multiplayer. Also, to answer thought C, cheat codes are back in force, excluding DK Mode, which is fine cause that made it too easy. Maybe I'll keep my parent's Wii instead of pawning it and buy this game.

2. System Link / Online Multiplayer Only

Any game that comes on a system where you can have four controllers plugged in at once and don't have split screen multiplayer severely pisses me off. While I don't have a Next Gen console I do have a 360 controller for my friends who have a system.

Say my friend gets a game that has 'breathtaking multiplayer' and I come over to play. We turn it on to see that if two people want to play together, they need a whole other system, a LAN cable, and their own copy?! Seriously? Game companies need to start caring about us a bit more, and less about forcing everyone who wants to play a game with their friends to buy a $299 start up pack when all they should need is another controller.

I'm all for online play, I was there when my buddy killed a Rockstar employee in Red Dead Redemption's online multiplayer. But forcing pricey high speed internet on people is as much of a crime as businesses not having an internet free way of applying for jobs should be. I don't know if that is grammatical or even coherent but I'm now in full vent mode.

3. Shadowrun

The legendary tabletop game that spawned an awesome SNES game. I never got too into the SNES game myself, I was 2 when it came out, so I missed the boat. But it had an amazing story, fantastic design, awesome RPG elements, and was pretty much all around fucking epic.

Then, years later my friend shows me a trailer for Shadowrun on the 360. I'm ecstatic, he's ecstatic, it's pretty sweet. Then he buys it and there is no story, no campaign, no RPG element. It's an FPS. An FPS with:

2 Teams
4 Characters
9 Maps
7 Spells
7 Weapons
6 Techs
3 Game Modes

And it's Online Only?! WHAT THE FUCK!? 60 bucks for what should be the AFTERTHOUGHT of a good game. That's right FASA Interactive, Multiplayer is an afterthought to an FPS or RPG. It's what makes a game that should get 8/10 get a 9.

Goldeneye had multiplayer slapped on at the end by one guy fiddling around with all the code for a few days. Goldeneye sold almost 50 times as many copies as this did too.

And my last grief with this game is the 7 gigs of hard drive space it takes up on PC. That's absolute bullshit. The levels are tiny and bland, the textures are obvious where they loop, the character design sucks, and it takes 7 gigs of hard drive space? Oblivion takes 10 Gigs and it has hundreds more weapons and spells, Multiple factions, many races, 100+ hours of stuff to do, and 16 square miles of area to travel. Fuck off Shadowrun, Oblivion has plot and looks better too...

4. The Kingdom Hearts Games

I love these games, you couldn't ask for a cooler series. I'm looking at my lifesize Keyblade right now. But the only problem with these is the sheer insane amount of time it takes to make a new part in the series. Graphically the games all look similar, the engine also has to be near the same damn thing from one game to the next. Why does it take so long?

3 years between KH 1 and 2 which is fine, I was very pleased with that timeline. But they then add a whole bunch of other stuff before, during, and after the two main games, and none of it comes out in chronological order.

5. (Unrelated Bonus Gripe) Star Wars Technology

How come in SW Episodes 1-3 they have all sorts of kick ass ships and droids and lightsabers and all sorts of stuff but then in 4-6 its all gone? The obvious answer is that there wasn't that technology in the 70s.

But I want a Star Wars universe answer. Something like Palpatine and his clone army destroyed all the kick ass droids after winning the war so they could send in real life Stormtrooper Meat Shields to get blown apart by rebels. R2-D2 got sand in his jet feet on Luke's planet so he can't fly anymore.

6. (Unrelated Bonus Gripe) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

(If you don't know the plot I'm not explaining)

Speaking of plot holes, this book tears the series a new asshole of plotholes. Namely with the Maurader's Map. How come Fred and George, the owners of the map before Harry, never noticed there was a dot labelled Peter Pettigrew always in their dormitory or with their brother?

How come Harry didn't test his Sneakoscope on the train by having one person leave the compartment at a time?

Why didn't Black or Lupin stun Pettigrew after he had been revealed. We drew from the previous books that even students could use basic immobilization spells. But no, they tied him up.

Why was Hermione so cautious about running into herself when she went back in time? She's the smartest character in the book, and knew she could travel back in time if she needed to. She would have figured it out right away.

Well that's all for now. Peace