Why Teenage Girls are Fucking Idiots. (Like LOLOMG, hay BFF luv u (33333!)

Teenagers in general are idiots. The only thing stupider than a teenager is a teenage girl. I'm not talking about book smarts, but general retardation. So if I need to dig up a little dirt on stupid teenager girls, I need to go where stupid teenage girls thrive like maggots in a corpse. I have to make a MySpace account.

Why Myspace and not Facebook? Well I have several reasons why:

1. People on Facebook are generally more mature than MySpace users.

2. I have a Facebook page, and only one email so I can't do it anonymously.

3. On Myspace, you can change your display name at will, so it is a very good way to get a public first impression without having to attempt to make friends.

As a preface I am going to give some AIM profile examples from Sydlexia (www.sydlexia.com), a blogger that I have an utmost respect for. Quoted bits are AIM profiles, unquoted are his responses.

"He handed her 12 roses. 11 real 1 fake. He said I'll love you until the last one dies..."

Omigawd, that's so sweet... and trite... and pointless.

"Put this in your profile if you know someone who is fighting, survived, or died of cancer "

The ribbon irritates me for a few reasons. First of all, every goddamn person in the entire world knows someone who is fighting, survived, or died of cancer - so fucking what? It was nice of you to feign social awareness, but putting a shitty graphic in your AIM profile isn't going to cure cancer. Even if it did, the pink ribbon that people use with this quote is only for breast cancer. So if you know people who died of other types of cancer, this ribbon doesn't support them in any way. And if that weren't bad enough, most girls are too fucking stupid to actually find pink on the AIM color chart so they end up using fuchsia instead.

"a wise girl kisses but never loves- listens but doesnt believe- and leaves before she is left "

Not many people know it but this quote comes from an old self-help book called How To Guarantee All Your Relationships Will Fail So You Can Perpetually Feel Sorry Yourself.

"stay close enough to have fun YET far enough not to get hurt."

Translation: I'm a total slut.

"What is meant to be will be. . . "

This one is particularly insidious because it's basically an excuse to suck at life. Boyfriend cheated on you? Got fired from your job? Gained 25 pounds? Don't worry, it's not your fault; it's just fate. There's just one little problem with this philosophy: IT'S TOTAL BULLSHIT. Things happen because people cause them to happen. It's like Kyle Reese said in The Terminator: "There is no fate but what we make."

"Dance like no one's looking. Sing like no one's listening. Love like you've never been hurt."

This is great advice if your goal is to look like a complete fucking idiot. If you want to blunder your way through life with a childlike naivete, I won't stop you. But don't come crying to me when you fail.

"if you're gonna go greek, why not be a goddess?"

Hey if you're gonna suck one dick, why not suck fifty? Telling people that you're a sorority girl is like telling people that you're a massage therapist; they assume you're a whore. The difference is that Delta Zeta girls don't actually get paid to sleep with guys they just met.


I really could have just stopped there, Syd really speaks to my point there. But, as they said in many countries throught the world (from pre-0 A.D. thru about 1965):

"Women are simply not worth Man's time or effort due to their smaller brains being only fit to cook and bear children. We need not explain or comings and goings to them, as they will simply not understand."

Ahh... truer words were never spoken... Anywho here is each girls display name, followed by their posted age and something off their profile. Oh and turns out most of these fucking retards don't know how to mark things as private.

[its PR3TTYB3AR!!] ^_^
Age: 18
About Me: imm 5'3 but imm not short imm [FUNSiZE] haha loves tew have fun, scream, jump, yell, dance laff lol imm vry [RANDOM] yupp imm not scared of putting myself out there :) soo umm yea imm blk fillipino chinese n thai, i have big brown eyes n long blk hair thass all i can rly think of rite now soo yea hmu

Fun Fact: Is grossly overweight, and has recently uploaded pictures of herself eating candy. Fucking fatass.

.♥.
Age:14 «3
grade: freshmen
Status; Single willing to change(:
Attitude; nice♥
weed; my freaking passion:p
Music; life.
Friends; My whole life«3
Arguments; hate's them
New experiences; cool(:
Bad Language; Get over it:D
You; Maybe some day!☺ My ending; Still writting it...

Fun Fact: Absolute trash


And Now I'm stopping because for some reason MySpace decided to load a site trying to trick me into downloading malware. Fuck those assholes.

The Legend of the Facebook Dick Suck List

I'm not sure the date this list came into existence, but I do know it is fucking hilarious. I came across this on a forum one day, and have been waiting to write about it. All the details are included in the picture accompanying this article, but I'll give you the story in the shorthand.

An Asian kid got ratted on by his sister about a case of beer in his room and got grounded by his overly strict parents. (While I personally think drinking/smoking/drugs is a rediculous waste of time and money, as well as the fact that it's all incredibly bad for you, three months for 12 beers is a tad harsh. That's like a week a beer.)

So for revenge he decided to snoop in his sister's room to try and get some dirt to use as revenge. He achieves the true glory of over 9000 laughs and over 9000 smiles with the discovery of his sister's "Hook-Up List". It has a list of all the people she has fucked or otherwise fooled around with, as well as people she plans to in the future.

Of course, using the infinite power of the interwebs, he uploads the list to Facebook and everyone gets to revel in his sister's whory goodness. We all dream about being able to ruin our siblings lives, but rarely does this chance come along. I hope she was just gettin into high school or better yet, still in middle school, just so she is haunted by this epic win for as long as possible before transfering to online school and going to a college as far away as possible.

Suicide Attempts - 20 points originally, with a 2 point diminishing return for each attempt.

Failing at Suicide - 10 points for 1st three times only. Then it degrades to wrist slitting.

Wrist Slitting - 5 points.

Dropout/Transfer Schools - 35 points, Add up total.

An Hero - 50 points, Add up total.

Why Starcraft II Graphics Piss Me Off

Sorry about the delay in posting, my non existent readers. But I do return with an issue that I'd like to discuss. Starcraft II is a phenomenally fun game, Blizzard once again outdid themselves in terms of gameplay and storyline, but I have one small grievance with them in terms of the first episode of the three part series that is Starcraft II.

What the fuck did you do to the graphics?

Blizzard has been bragging on about their new, improved graphics since the sequel was announced, but it wasn't until I actually saw the game that I realized what they had done. What they had done, was in fact the main thing that they were told not to do by fans who were beta testing the original game. They originally intended to use a graphics style similar to the Warcraft series, which had more detailed, yet somewhat cartoony visuals.

After the numerous complaints that this type of graphic style didn't fit the darker style of Starcraft, Blizzard shrank down the graphics to smaller, less detailed versions, as well as changed the color pallets to include more dark and neutral tones. Now, we see that in order to "utilize more of the high end capabilities of modern PCs", they have reverted to their original art style. What we are left with is a bunch of cartoon Spartans from Halo taking the place of our Marines, and Zerg that are far too brightly colored for my personal taste.

I understand that things are different this time around. The Zerg have mysteriously vanished, and the Terrans are starting to rebuild their shattered colonies. Naturally we will see some different colored environments this time around, but I loved the small scale of the characters and vehicles. To make them bigger changes one of the biggest aspects of this game that separate it from it's Warcraft brethren.

Warcraft introduced the Hero class to modern RTS games, their ability to level up and learn whatever skills you wish them to. Such a degree of selective upgrading was unheard of at the time. That combined with their regenerative healing abilities made the Heroes largely unbalanced. To be able to complete a map with nothing but a Hero really speaks to the unbalanced nature of the idea.

This was also fixed in Starcraft. It's a cold hard world in the depths of space, and the fact that Hero characters didn't have an amazing assortment of abilities in addition to the fact that they weren't magically restored to full health over time made you admire the sparse bonuses in strength that you got. It really made the Heroes feel heroic, rather than godly.

This relates to my original point. Starcraft was, on the whole, much more challenging then Warcraft. So the smaller troop size and larger view of the map really made devising attack plans and tactically moving towards your enemy made flanking and sneak attacks much easier to coordinate. You could send a squad of Marines in to draw enemies away from a base, sneak in with a Ghost to nuke the area between an enemy's main building and where it's gatherers mined minerals, and pick off any stragglers without moving your focus from their base. I personally have used this divert, nuke, rush strategy numerous times in both campaigns and online and it works more often than not.

Now, I can barely fit two full squads of units on the screen, even at high-end resolutions. And while it certainly looks prettier than it's predecessor, It lacks the dark origins of the series' style in both art and gameplay. So while it is still a fantastic game and well worth spending the money to buy, it is in my opinion lacking some of the key stylings of the original.

Synonyms and the General Over-Construction of the English Language

There are so many words in the English language, and sometimes you just don't know the right words to choose. When many people want to learn about words they've never used before, or if they just want to spice up their normal conversations (probably just to appear more intelligent), they buy a thesaurus. While I am rather linguistic myself, I often ask myself, "Why, oh why do we need so many damn words?"

Now unfortunately, I know there will never be an attempt to rid the world of all its useless words, and even if there was this has proven to not work well in George Orwell's classic novel 1984. The language in the book, known as Newspeak, sought to remove all synonyms and antonyms as well as of course, to control the minds of the people. They took all the synonyms for good, and simply just got rid of them. This means all of your fancy-schmancy words like fantastic, great, wonderful, and yes even orgasmic were replaced with good, plusgood, and doubleplusgood.

And of course while they were in the process of getting rid of all of the synonyms, they said " Hell, why don't we just get rid of all of the incidents as well?" And that's just what they did. Bad, and all of its synonyms became ungood, plusungood, and so on and so forth.

And of course in the context of the story, this was merely done to control the thoughts and minds of people. Let's go through a quick exercise and we can really see what life would be like if we got rid of all of the synonyms for our various words.

We are going to choose a sentence that is absolutely filled to the brim with fancy words that most people don't know without the use of a thesaurus. That sentence is:

"I was flabbergasted and amazed at the audacity of the husband's decision to incapacitate his wife for her miserably feeble interpretation of the manuscript."

Now let us go to our trusty thesaurus and cut out all of those fancy interesting words with the shortest, most efficient, and simplest words we can. After we do this, the sentence winds up looking something like this:

"I was alarmed at nerve of the man's choice to hurt his spouse for her bad reading of the book."

Not only is it boringly simple, but it doesn't give us a proper feel for the situation. The so-called "fixed" sentence gives us just the facts, without any embroidering world operating in any way. The original sentence takes us down an entrancing journey of mimsy and wonder, and of course, spousal abuse based on a wife's inability to read well. And if I know one thing, it's that everybody loves a good spousal abuse story. And we certainly wouldn't want to ruin that.

Absorbing a Compendium of Knowledge - AKA: Spending the Day With my Girlfriend While She's at Work

Today, as you can tell from my last post, I went to work with my girlfriend today. While she did her job, I sat in the cafe and read every magazine I usually follow month to month. So I went and got my stack from the magazine section, this is what I read today:

Discover
Popular Science
Popular Mechanics
Electronic Gaming Monthly
Some magazine about the entire Zelda series
Playstation Official Magazine
Maximum PC
PSM

Quite a lot of interesting stuff. Discover's Vital Signs article proved that being a doctor can be as dramatic as House MD makes us believe. The Zelda mag was fantastic, although I already knew everything in it. Cannot wait for the new Mortal Kombat, It's gonna be sick. I am officially saving for a PS3 for that, Assassin's Creed (The three that matter), MGS, and Little Big Planet 2. Check out the 2010 Dream Machine in Maximum PC, if you don't want to read the magazine it should be online soon. Lets put it this way:

Dream Machine System Specs:

CPU – 2x Xeon X5680 @ $3,326
MEM – 24GB Corsair Dominator @ $1,300
MB – EVGA Classified SR-2 @ $650
GPU – 3x EVGA GTX 480 Superclocked @ $1,575
PSU – 1x Corsair AX1200 @ $300
PSU – 1x Thermaltake Power Express 450W @ $100
SSD – 2 OCZ Vertex 2 200GB @ $1,480
HD – 2x WD 2TB Caviar Black @ $400
Optical – Plextor B940SA @ $219
Sound – Auzentech X-Fi Forte @ $150
Case – Mountain Mods U2-UFO @ $600
Cooling – DangerDen Custom Liquid Cooling (model ?) @ $1,159
Grills – Mnpctech Rad grill w/ 360 center & 120mm Nautilus fan grill
Keyboard – Microsoft X6 @ $58
Mouse – Mad Catz R.A.T. 7 @ $100
Fan Bay – NZXT Sentry LX @ $80
Monitor – 3x HP ZR30w @ $3,900
OS – MS Windows 7 @ $180

Total = $15,782

The rest of the magazines were utterly insignificant, sadly enough. Oh and on a side note, Other M looks like the first Metroid game on the Wii that won't suck.

My Girlfriend's Complete Lack of Social Tact

I love my girlfriend very much, although we do come to many disagreements over many different things. Coping is an important part of dealing with life, at least thats what the court suggested therapist that I went to once and never again told me. So I thought I would cope with my biggest peeve about my girlfirend here to you non existant readers.

First thing off, she has absolutely no problem telling me who she thinks is cute. That I really don't mind in itself. It's natural to still become physically attracted to other people when in a committed relationship. (GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU GOD DAMN FLY! STOP BOTHERING ME WHILE I TYPE THIS YOU LITTLE COCKSUCKER!)

But if one of those so called 'cuties' were to approach her, as I have just had the experience of seeing firsthand, she has no problem flirting with them. Once again, this does not bother me at all normally. It's one thing to flirt, but to do it right in front of your boyfriend? That seems a little fucked up to me.

The next part of this little rant is about what could be considered physical abuse. She will smack me over the slightest thing, or hit me in the shoulders or chest. I can't possibly consider this abuse because she isn't strong enough to cause me any physical distress, but it is still embarrasing to be smacked around by a girl two years younger than you in public, without being able to respond because that would be assault.

I must sidebar for a brief moment and talk to you about a Target employee named Andrew. This isn't at the Target I work at, but a different one My girlfriend works at. She does promotional work for various stores in the area, and this one happens to contain the nefarious douche called Andrew. (GO AWAY FLY! JESUS CHRIST.)

As I write this I asked her his name, being torn by my inability to distinguish his name from Alexander in my peripheal vision, She told me to call him Andy. she immedietly followed this up with saying that we should name one of our kids Andy someday. If you haven't put it together, Andrew was the person she was flirting with in front of me. Talk about lack of tact.

And while I'm going to allow her to read this, (after backing it up and hiding it of course, all my posts are first typed in Notepad, because I work best with it.) I figure I can say something embarassing about her, as no one else will read this anyways.

My girlfriend apparently got wet from looking at Edward and Jacob barbie dolls. (Quick Sidebar: After mimicking pouring soda on my laptop I told her that intentionally destroying my $1200 PC would be break up worthy, she said very plainly she doesn't need me. Nice.) She probably said it to piss me off because I, like everyone else who isn't who doesn't have an IQ smaller than their height in inches, hate the Twilight books and films (Seriously, vampires and werewolves are about as original as WWII video games.). She was looking at it and announced to me and anyone within 10 feet that she practically just came. Wow, I wonder what it is like to live so shamelessly.

To return to the thesis of this post, I love my girlfriend, although she tends to be socially awkward in the complete opposite way that I am.

Life of a Marine: The diary of a Starcraft Unit Part 1

3:22 SCT, 12.02.2499

Well, It's nearing the end of Boot Camp. I've spent a long time training with these Marines, and we're all ready to be shipped out in a few days.

Our Drill Sergeant said we have one last test before graduation. We have to erect and defend a small base completely on our own, in an isolated enviroment. It sounded easy enough when we got the order, but then they told us they would be dropping some Xenomorphs in our sector as well.

Not too many people know about the Xenomorphs. Their some kind of feral alien monsters, that can mutate and adapt. I have no idea where they came from, all I know is that they will kill us without hesitation, and we like to call them Zerg. Things just got sticky.

We were also told that this mission was going to be monitored and displayed as a demonstration of tactics and equipment for the Colonial Magistrate. I don't give a shit about all that. I just wanna get this over with and graduate. But, any experience with Zerg where I'm not maimed will be good experience for fighting the bastards.

Maybe I'll be on guard duty.


12:00 SCT, 12.03.2499

We just got dropped into the sector for our mission. There was an SCV putting the finishing touches on a Supply Depot when we dropped our Command Center in. It's just me and my squad, a reserve squad, and the SCV. We'll have more SCVs later on I heard, some guys from the unit. Unfortunatly I am not on guard duty. The reserve squad is doing that, I get to go Zerg hunting.

I wonder if they will lett any of us die on this mission. I doubt it, it's only training.


14:32 SCT, 12.03.2499

What the fuck was that? My first Zerg encounter was rough. We spotted the Zergling (very fast and has very sharp claws) before it saw us, and tried to sneak up on it. It didn't work.
It rushed us, and got ahold of me. It started clawing into my armor, tearing at my left leg. I felt jolts of pain as it reached my flesh, luckily our armor automatically locks out an area when it is breached so I didn't get my lungs sucked out by the vaccuum of space.

We killed the little bastard and continued the mission afterward. It only go worse from there. It was two and a half hours since we left, and we lost half my unit, including Mills and Diego. I can't believe they are gone, just like that. Their deaths were horrible too. The blood... and the screaming...

I'll never forget today. We got back to base and they aren't even finished with their part of the mission. They havent even made the other Supply Depots! I'm stuck healing up at the Command Center, waiting. This is by far the worst day of my life.


15:07 SCT, 12.03.2499

Finally. we're done. We just got picked up and our Drill Sergeant debriefed us. We did our best, the Zerg's outer shell is to thick for our shells. I wish I enlisted as a Firebat instead.

The Buster Sword Sucks

If anyone actually read my blog, they would probably post very hateful things in my comments to that title. So I just want to clarify:

FF VII Kicks ass
Cloud is not cooler than Zack or vice versa, they are polar opposites and yin and yang.
The Buster Sword is as iconic as the Master Sword, the Keyblade, or fireballs to gamers.

I own a Buster Sword and it is a pain in the ass to wield. It's so fucking heavy! I could barely swing it when I got it, now I am able to make a few swings and thrusts before being tired. So I guess the title of this post should be Fuck SOLDIER, their Mako-infused operatives, and the horse they rode in on. Stupid ultra strong toughguys. I wanna wield it like Zack does in Crisis Core! Fast and shit.

Is LoZ: OoT the best game ever?

I'm talking officially here folks. This site has compiled a list of 43 top ten lists of games by official magazines and here are Ocarina of Time's stats:

(I dropped this list number to 40 because 3 of the lists were before Ocarina of Time's well... time.)

Times in top 10: 32/40
Times in top 5: 28/40
Times as number 1: 12/40

It's average place on the list is: Between 4 and 3

Overall it is still in the top 5 for average spot, but it appears more than any other game does. Move over Mario, Nintendo has a new mascot.

Games of Win

These games are just pure win, although I don't play all of them.

Earthbound
Oblivion
COD:MW2
Super Mario World
Starcraft 1 and 2
WoW
Resident Evil Series
Metal Gear Solid
Ocarina of Time
Final Fantasy 1-10
Dragon Warrior Series
Dragon Quest Series
Spiderman 2
Goldeneye 007
Super Mario 64
Pokemon R/B/Y/G
Tony Hawk 1-4
GTA 3 and Newer
Halo
Halo 2
Gears of War
Prince of Persia
Assassin's Creed 1 and 2


This list is part 1 of many.

100 million Facebook users' details published online - Technology & science - Security - msnbc.com

100 million Facebook users' details published online - Technology & science - Security - msnbc.com

Lol so this security consultant scanned all of facebook with some kind of code he developed and made a database of everyone's personal information that isn't hidden. Naturally I downloaded it from TPB and am waiting to take a looksie.

Go there with caution, as when I downloaded (as well as some others, according to comments) my PC began behaving very erratically. I noticed that it also downloaded a PHP file that seems harmless, but I'm not sure so I'm looking into it. So travel with caution, and see what kind of shit you aren't really keeping private.

Holy Shit

That is what happens when you use a .50 cal machine gun round as a hammer. I am appalled that anyone would be this fucking stupid, let alone a soldier. I as a (possibly) soon to be Ex-National Guard soldier can't believe this would happen to one of our boys. Well a fucktard is a fucktard any way you slice it I suppose.

My Awesome Ideas

My awesome ideas may not be considered awesome by all, if you don't find one of these ideas awesome, too bad. Also, some of these things may be considered illegal or dangerous. I do not suggest you try these.

Emulator PC Inside Old Console

I don't have it built yet, but I am in the process of acquiring either an Xbox case or an old Atari case to build a PC in. The cool thing is it's going to be emulator only, so I can get the some 350 gigs worth of roms onto their own computer. (Yes, I own all the games, most are old PS2 and PS1 games I Backed up to my PC)

This would be sweet, I'm just having trouble finding stuff that would fit and work well. PS2 Emulation can be Gfx card intensive, and not a lot of them fit into console cases.

Flamethrower

Fuck yeah. Using some old mini propane tanks, I am making a flamethrower. Gasoline fed, back mounted, burn my brother's old rotting skatepark glory. Here's a shitty design I whipped up in Paint:


Simple yet Elegant.

Small Wrist Mounted Weapons and Gadgets.

These are inspired by Assassin's Creed. First I want a wristblade. I'm gonna make one out of a DA OTF Knife if I can find a good one. Simple wrist movement to extend and retract the blade.

Next is a hybrid of concealed weapons and my flamethrower up above. I have all the designs made up I just need the cash and tools. Wrist mounted flamethrower. Search it on Youtube.

Third is a wrist mounted pistol similar to the one in Assassins Creed II. Except seeing how I have modern technology I would just mod a .22 revolver. Remove the grip, re-design the trigger mechanism, add a wrist plate to prevent shooting a hole in my own hand.

Finally, After working for a week at Walmart before I found something better, I learned about their electronic security system. Main thing of importance is the EAS tags, the little white strips that set off the alarms. See they have handheld deactivation devices that could easily be converted and mounted on a forearm to be concealed in a sleeve. This, as it would be highly illegal to use, is theoretical only. But seeing how its theoretical, lets take a deeper look.

Ok so first off, you need to be a certified retailer to buy the handheld scanner, so to acquire one you'd have to lie, steal, or have enough money to own a business and do not need to steal. However, most stores like Walmart have one with the greeter so you can just strike when the opportunity arises. So, you take it and get away successfully. What now?

Now you remodel it to conform to your arm. It's on a rechargable battery so you attach that to the part of the arm closest to your side so it is harder to see. You place the scanner in your palm, and the buttons go near it, either at the bottom or top of the wrist.

Time for a test. Charge it up and make sure it turns on. If you're lucky it has a vibration function instead of a beep for detection, if not a simple rewire should do the trick to silence it. Go to a different store and bring a 50 cent bouncy ball, one of the bigger ones, with you.

Find a tag that you can remove and take it. Scan it and see if it responds. No response = abort, either its already deactivated or the scanner isn't working. Then deactivate and scan again. No response is good now. Finally, attach it to the ball and either toss it through while hidden, stash it in someone else's cart and watch, or just rush through and bail. If it doesn't go off, congrats, you're on your way to being a pro thief.

Things That Game Developers did/do Wrong Part 1

Don't you hate it when a good developer takes a good license, or a really cool concept, then rapes it? Then they take the dead raped body, light it on fire, film it, and add that as an easter egg when they release the now shit game? If you said yes, you're a lot like me. God help you. Anyways, this is what I think the big wigs of gaming are fucking up.

(List order is what came to mind first, it isn't rating)

1. Goldeneye 007 Remake

When I heard about this, I had three thoughts run through my head:
A) FUCKING FINALLY! ABOUT TIME!
B) Wait, Nintendo is making it? How are they going to fuck it up?
C) Will they have all the beautiful, beautiful cheat codes from the old days?

BTW, the answer to thought B is yes Nintendo is in charge of this, and they are currently fucking it up with Daniel "The Terrible Blond Bond" Craig taking the place of Pierce "2nd Best Bond After Connery" Brosnan.

According to Craig Harris of IGN, "GoldenEye still retains the basics of GoldenEye's story, but retells it in a way that makes sense with Daniel Craig's interpretation of James Bond"

-Taken from Wikipedia

Also Oddjob gets his cheater hat from the PS2 bond games in multiplayer, and is still ridiculously tiny. And last but not least is the multiplayer itself. Its going to be exactly the same. That's not a bad thing at all, you get to play with all your favorite match types, But I'd like to see the original Match types as presets, with more freedom as to how matches can be set up. There's little info on this so hopefully they give us some freedom.

Also, You use a cell phone to take pictures instead of the trusty Q Watch. I'll miss you old friend.

However, all is not lost. If the game had been developed on 360 or PS3 then odds are we would see System Link or Online multiplayer ONLY, as Sony and Microsoft are assholes about that. We get classic 4 players on one system multiplayer. Also, to answer thought C, cheat codes are back in force, excluding DK Mode, which is fine cause that made it too easy. Maybe I'll keep my parent's Wii instead of pawning it and buy this game.

2. System Link / Online Multiplayer Only

Any game that comes on a system where you can have four controllers plugged in at once and don't have split screen multiplayer severely pisses me off. While I don't have a Next Gen console I do have a 360 controller for my friends who have a system.

Say my friend gets a game that has 'breathtaking multiplayer' and I come over to play. We turn it on to see that if two people want to play together, they need a whole other system, a LAN cable, and their own copy?! Seriously? Game companies need to start caring about us a bit more, and less about forcing everyone who wants to play a game with their friends to buy a $299 start up pack when all they should need is another controller.

I'm all for online play, I was there when my buddy killed a Rockstar employee in Red Dead Redemption's online multiplayer. But forcing pricey high speed internet on people is as much of a crime as businesses not having an internet free way of applying for jobs should be. I don't know if that is grammatical or even coherent but I'm now in full vent mode.

3. Shadowrun

The legendary tabletop game that spawned an awesome SNES game. I never got too into the SNES game myself, I was 2 when it came out, so I missed the boat. But it had an amazing story, fantastic design, awesome RPG elements, and was pretty much all around fucking epic.

Then, years later my friend shows me a trailer for Shadowrun on the 360. I'm ecstatic, he's ecstatic, it's pretty sweet. Then he buys it and there is no story, no campaign, no RPG element. It's an FPS. An FPS with:

2 Teams
4 Characters
9 Maps
7 Spells
7 Weapons
6 Techs
3 Game Modes

And it's Online Only?! WHAT THE FUCK!? 60 bucks for what should be the AFTERTHOUGHT of a good game. That's right FASA Interactive, Multiplayer is an afterthought to an FPS or RPG. It's what makes a game that should get 8/10 get a 9.

Goldeneye had multiplayer slapped on at the end by one guy fiddling around with all the code for a few days. Goldeneye sold almost 50 times as many copies as this did too.

And my last grief with this game is the 7 gigs of hard drive space it takes up on PC. That's absolute bullshit. The levels are tiny and bland, the textures are obvious where they loop, the character design sucks, and it takes 7 gigs of hard drive space? Oblivion takes 10 Gigs and it has hundreds more weapons and spells, Multiple factions, many races, 100+ hours of stuff to do, and 16 square miles of area to travel. Fuck off Shadowrun, Oblivion has plot and looks better too...

4. The Kingdom Hearts Games

I love these games, you couldn't ask for a cooler series. I'm looking at my lifesize Keyblade right now. But the only problem with these is the sheer insane amount of time it takes to make a new part in the series. Graphically the games all look similar, the engine also has to be near the same damn thing from one game to the next. Why does it take so long?

3 years between KH 1 and 2 which is fine, I was very pleased with that timeline. But they then add a whole bunch of other stuff before, during, and after the two main games, and none of it comes out in chronological order.

5. (Unrelated Bonus Gripe) Star Wars Technology

How come in SW Episodes 1-3 they have all sorts of kick ass ships and droids and lightsabers and all sorts of stuff but then in 4-6 its all gone? The obvious answer is that there wasn't that technology in the 70s.

But I want a Star Wars universe answer. Something like Palpatine and his clone army destroyed all the kick ass droids after winning the war so they could send in real life Stormtrooper Meat Shields to get blown apart by rebels. R2-D2 got sand in his jet feet on Luke's planet so he can't fly anymore.

6. (Unrelated Bonus Gripe) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

(If you don't know the plot I'm not explaining)

Speaking of plot holes, this book tears the series a new asshole of plotholes. Namely with the Maurader's Map. How come Fred and George, the owners of the map before Harry, never noticed there was a dot labelled Peter Pettigrew always in their dormitory or with their brother?

How come Harry didn't test his Sneakoscope on the train by having one person leave the compartment at a time?

Why didn't Black or Lupin stun Pettigrew after he had been revealed. We drew from the previous books that even students could use basic immobilization spells. But no, they tied him up.

Why was Hermione so cautious about running into herself when she went back in time? She's the smartest character in the book, and knew she could travel back in time if she needed to. She would have figured it out right away.

Well that's all for now. Peace

The Miffed Gamer's 1st Post

Hello there internet people. I am the Miffed Gamer and who you are is, well, rather insignificant to me really. I have often been one of those people who laughed at bloggers, not seeing why people think others actually care about what they like on their sandwich. But, i have decided to start my own blog, frankly because I am bored. So let's kick this off by telling you a bit about myself.

I just got a fancy new job in an electronics department of a store. I am a gamer, mainly retro and PC, but I have been known to go out and fuck some people up in COD:MW2 on modern consoles from time to time, although I do not have one myself. I am in a very happy relationship. I build PCs, do programming, and other stuff in my free time. Also I loathe the way gaming is evolving. Well for the most part.

That's all you need to know really. Go ahead and post comments, flame, troll, or whatever. I won't moderate my comments other then anti Spam.