The Legend of the Facebook Dick Suck List

I'm not sure the date this list came into existence, but I do know it is fucking hilarious. I came across this on a forum one day, and have been waiting to write about it. All the details are included in the picture accompanying this article, but I'll give you the story in the shorthand.

An Asian kid got ratted on by his sister about a case of beer in his room and got grounded by his overly strict parents. (While I personally think drinking/smoking/drugs is a rediculous waste of time and money, as well as the fact that it's all incredibly bad for you, three months for 12 beers is a tad harsh. That's like a week a beer.)

So for revenge he decided to snoop in his sister's room to try and get some dirt to use as revenge. He achieves the true glory of over 9000 laughs and over 9000 smiles with the discovery of his sister's "Hook-Up List". It has a list of all the people she has fucked or otherwise fooled around with, as well as people she plans to in the future.

Of course, using the infinite power of the interwebs, he uploads the list to Facebook and everyone gets to revel in his sister's whory goodness. We all dream about being able to ruin our siblings lives, but rarely does this chance come along. I hope she was just gettin into high school or better yet, still in middle school, just so she is haunted by this epic win for as long as possible before transfering to online school and going to a college as far away as possible.

Suicide Attempts - 20 points originally, with a 2 point diminishing return for each attempt.

Failing at Suicide - 10 points for 1st three times only. Then it degrades to wrist slitting.

Wrist Slitting - 5 points.

Dropout/Transfer Schools - 35 points, Add up total.

An Hero - 50 points, Add up total.